Is there such a moment when you don't feel like doing anything? You are not even in the mood of speaking and getting moving. I am a bit fed up with the present. I know I should hit the road again, and I know what lies before me, but I still don't have any clue for such change. Sometimes, I may wonder why my life keeps going like this, without ebb and flow in my emotional world despite the grief, the family trouble and sentimental outcry. Whatever the surrounding is, whoever I have met on the way, rain or shine, I am alone on the way. If I could more appreciate the kindness and smile along the way, maybe i will be more relaxed and satisified.
John Didion said in the Year of Magical Thinking: Life changes fast, life changes in the instant.
We really can't picture what happens to us next moment, we surely perceive what we have own for the bliss. I am less depressed now, I am less neurotic now, I am less inspired now. I seem used to the dull rythem of life. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. I just don't want to talk myself into anything. I've got sick of self-crucifying, the best way to refresh myself and lift my spirit, as it were, should be to let the sleeping dog lie. Until I'am stirred to a fight, I won't challenge you.