Destiny Bound--a letter to Prof.J

Dear Prof. J,

Now I am hesitant to report to you anything in English. My expressions might become very awkward as I spent most of my time reading all these chinese editions of drama. Even though I insisted on reading the original, I could hardly find many in the library. But it’s probably ok since I could almost capture the spirit of the original works that transmitted. I think this predicament comes in your way when you tried to read Chinese poets and buddhists',doesn’t it?

These days, I am keeping on reading works. It turns out that the more I read, the more I need to read. I try to challenge the speed of time but somehow, my haste does make waste. I have no time to get down some thoughts which lead me nowhere. What impressed me most during the last week are the re-reading of Anton Chekhov and Vladimir Mayakovsky. I think winter is perfect time to read Russian works. A bit sadness mingled with the hopeful warmth overcomes me when I read Chekhov’s plays like Three sisters and his short stories. Chekhov’s so sensitive to time and what is buried along with it, he is definitely a pessimist but he still clings to the belief that the new message would blossom out of the decay. So there seems to be in his works a paradoxical voice trapped in a dilemma. So, that’s the smell and taste of winter as I know bringing me close to these distant souls who grew up in the snow-capped landscape.As a typical southerner, I ought to have adjusted to the climate here in GZ. However, there seems no transition between the summer and winter. Last weekend, a huge thunderstorm split the sky and drowned the city in icy wind and lukewarm sunshining. Autumn is nowhere to spot. It is really sort of horrible scene, like everything goes to extremes, so fast and so sudden. But I still love the winter days here. The grey hellish sky seems to be transformed, azure and cloudless. I thought it must be cold there as well, you’d better take more care.

And for your gracious offer, I think I’d love to participate in it. But I, as you know, am not so sure about my strength and what substantial work I could do in your project. Would you tell me more details if you could. I have been always interested in writing. But sincerely, I have never been engaged in the professional training I think. So you might risk a little bit asking me to do this.

And one more thing, this morning I got a call from my mom who told me her visit to a foretune teller and how this incredible master spoke the fate of our family without even knowing anything about us in advance. Simply by knowing the birthday and zodiac animal, he could see what happened and whether it is auspicious or not in our household. What’s more intriguing, he really said many things right. My mom took no belief in this kind of superstition, but this time, she said she was really convinced that “life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. But rather it’s a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan.” When asked about my fate, the foretune teller just said: “let her go. You shouldn’t worry about her. She would pursue her own way.” And my mom is reassured by this remark.

Best wishes,
serendipity