Time Chariot runs like hell!
What a Rosy life on Campus!
Everyday, I wake up with glorious sunrising, after I dress myself I set out; have dinner by Ming Lake, watch students march in groups to classes with beaming smile on their faces. What a clean and bright day! Then I join them, hurry to the Teaching Building as well. Deeply and sweetly, I do cherish this good golden time. Sometimes, the busy shuttling back and forth would make me oblivious of what was like last year or before September. More often, it occurred to me suddenly that I once had an afflicting time. Oh, but forget it! The memory of past could be served as an enhancer to present. The transitional period has been done. I once thought I would take up a part-time job and dump academic work. The truth proves that it doesn’t work out. For one thing, I fail to maintain the balance between work and study, for the other thing, I confess openly that I am becoming lazy again. So, temporarily, I just wish to relish the pleasure without too much speculation and meditation. Things like that do spoil the quiet life now and mess up my mind.
There are still too much for me to learn continuously. Sometimes, these issues are real headache to me. Dry theories, classics, creative and critical thinking….! I am imposed by too many missions that seem impossible to fulfill. No one would urge you to attain some achievements but I truly think once I am given this chance to study further, I should pour more efforts on it and learn something meaningful, whatever. So I rack my brain to apply the literary theory to works of art, I exert every effort to wring out a mince of “personal idea” from these profound works. It’s awful. Most of time, I ponder whether these “great minds” would wreck my “normal mindset” and I would become more and more dumb and dull. For instance, these few days, I set my mind upon digging “Awakening” which is written by Chopin, this story is about a woman who experiences a dawning journey, discovers her selfhood and identity, reaches her autonomy as a independent being. Originally, I think it’s an obscure and unremarkable work, Goodness! Thousands of comments, essays, analysis available! I think of myth archetypal approach to interpret, fail. Some brilliant critics are more eloquent and insightful than me. I turn to psychoanalysis, fail. Plenty of wise buddies have done fruitful researches on it. I then resort to close reading and being keen enough to “nose out” the clues. Sorry, your findings are still too shallow and overt….It drives me mad. Then I come to realize my dilemma: in the world which is consumed with creativity and criticism, my meager idea fails to position itself and outshine others. It Sucks! There is no time to complain now. Since I choose this path, I should know as Robert did “there is no chance to travel the other”. So, just head on like buzzing mosquito. By every means, there is no use complaining like a fool.
Go back to my Tough time again, I have to prepare for the presentation for Ms Zhan’s class: My topic is set on “Lamentable spectacle: famine suicide in Awakening and House of Mirth” Hopefully, I could be more inspired than ever to arrive at something of fun and value.
"Perhaps it is better to wake up after all, even to suffer; than to remain a dupe to illusions all one's life."-Kate Chopin said.