this is an interesting metaphor, since the artist could also be compared to a spider who weaves/spins/sews the web day and night autonomously. Writing is compared to the process of weaving. In this process, the writers need to weave the texts with all kinds of chosen words from within/the brain. Like a spider, the artist is a tireless spinner at night, to borrow the poetic diction of Emily Dickinson: sews upon a night without light/upon an Arc of the White. To what extent the spider's web and literary web was similar should turn to Charlotte's Web for a look. In this children's book, E.B. White portrays a heart-touching story in which the spider Charlotte committed herself to saving Wilber from being butchered. Several ideas brew in her tiny head, upside down especially at night. Finally, a plan was cooked. She weaves several webs upon Wilber: Some Pig, Terrific Pig, Radient Pig, Humble Pig. Wilbur was saved and Charlotte finally died from the exhaustion. This story engages the readers' attention by its graceful touch of friendship and creation. Such anthropomorphic portrayal casts a new light on the humankind as well as its affinity with the natural world at large. I do like reading E. B. White's books.
得知成绩的那一刻，仿佛有种窒息的感觉，眼泪很条件反射地涌上心头，却在被我低沉的理智慢慢压了下去...
我不能哭。
哭，已经由青葱时代的我见犹怜，到青黄不接年纪之时的懦弱和无能。
可是，我怎能不哭。
因为我还是当年会在乎成绩在乎别人的眼光会在乎能力是否得到认可时的我。
于是，离开熟悉的人群，我的眼泪一遍遍在陌生的人流中簌簌往下掉。
抑制不住的悲伤。
这世界难道这么残忍？
我很想控诉那位身居庙堂的所谓教授，人文知识的研究难道只培养他无情且清高、丝毫不宽容的性格。
可是，我内心只能责难的始终是自己。
也许自己真的越来越退步，也许自己努力还依然远远不够。
这个成绩，让我如何像关心我的人交代！
努力过后，若人生的成绩被人狠狠地打上不及格，那么是多么血淋淋的事实。
怎知，既有期望，便有失望。
失望过后，我会选择继续期望。
但是，是否会给个期限。
答案，在心中。
ycc,不要怕，不怕输，输不怕，继续执着。
不要灰头涂脸地败下阵来，即使被淘汰出局，依然要从容镇定。
It's either a fiasco or a victorious defeat.
It's an imperative issue for me to solve now. I used to believe that I know what I am going to do and will never for a minute desert the goal. But now, I am left wondering whether I do have a definite and clear goal ahead of me. I am so doubtful of my own research potential, and my attitude towards the relationship and social affairs. I suddenly am tired of the life pattern and so disappointed at myself. L is right, he has such a foresight that he could have his life pinned down. But now I am still lost, plagued with the mixed feeling for this dying love. What a pathetic scene. I never imagine things would turn out so badly. It ends up a bad romance? No. You should reorganize your life and your preferences. You can't waste your time in such an irresponsible manner! Please. Achieve something. Do something for a change! Remember, nobody is on your side if you couldn't maintain your edge and improve yourself. Think deeply! Don't be so childishly idealistic. Romantic imagination should give away to NOW!
Time runs on. Within a wink, the exam is coming soon.
Without belief in myself, I seem falling back to the old cycles of self-deception. No appropriate means to release my nervousness this time especially after I find my self dwindling day by day, the optimistic self thwarted by the self-diminishing anxiety. I thought I could be immersed in the preparation whole-heartedly now, but the hazardous thoughts of him began assailing me. Ensnared in web interwoven with sadness, self-doubt and loneliness, I try in vain to withdraw.
Heart! We will forget him!
You and I -- tonight!
You may forget the warmth he gave --
I will forget the light!
When you have done, pray tell me
That I may straight begin!
Haste! lest while you're lagging
I remember him!
I'm so nervous. I don't know what I can do if I fail this test again this time? Two years passed. I couldn't forgive myself for such infinite delay of actualization of my goal. Nobody knows what kind of turmoil is boiling in my head. See every result in a casual indifference!I can't. I am so anxious to approach this field. I can't afford to lose again. Then, what my future will be? I am almost stifled at the thought of failure. What a calamity！ I cling to this chance so tightly, does it mean or forecast my doomed failure! Take it easy! Calm down! Relax! You can't give in to fear! You can't even give up your hope! Oh, God, I will always keep my fingers crossed！
It’s been quite a long time since I finished reading Wuthering Heights, an excessively morbid and violent novel, a blend of highly gothic, romantic and realistic fiction.
To analyze the gothic elements in this novel is already outdated. The gothic application to the setting (Wuthering Heights and Thrushcross Grange), to the characterization (Heathcliff a passionate and ferocious orphan), to the plot (the violent love that could consume everything) , to the portrayal of the supernatural and deeply ingrained love has produced the particular effect that made this work an immortal piece.
To see it as a romantic story may find echo in many lovers’ heart. Sometimes, we question whether we should marry a similar person (Heathcliff vs. Catherine), or marry a complementary figure (Linton vs. Catherine). “It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him; and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same, and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire.” There are many interpretation for this confession, some may argue that with Heathcliff’s company, Catherine could remain whole. But sometimes, I wonder whether they will be happy if they get married, since they are too passionate, too self-asserted, too willful.
The realism in this fiction can’t escape our attention. Due to the class distinction, Heathcliff and Catherine’s love are thwarted and doomed. Heathcliff suffers from the grief when hearing Catherine says that “it would degrade me to marry”. How can love transcend the social norms and conventional morality? Discussion of this problem remains significant in the current society.
Although the love between them turns out a destructive force that brings more disaster and misfortune to their next generations, this violent love is the most compelling and memorable aspect of this story.
The revenge also takes up many chapters in this story. Whether such revenge is tragic itself or condemnable, we finally see the reconciliation of this feud in the bond of Cathy and Hareton. What a clever contrivance! In the end, Emily dissolves the conflicts, the extreme love and hate in another pair of H and C. Without the social barriers nor the familial oppositions, this pair of lovers can renew a promising future that Heathcliff and Catherine can’t share.
It remains doubtful how a quiescent and self-withdrawn girl like Emily Bronte would write such a great love story. Even though 155 years apart, this love story can still cause a stir among us if we read it carefully and whole-heartedly.
Reviewing the American Literature, I find two themes prominent in the literary works from the Benjamin Franklin to the post-modernist works. American literature, quite often than not, starts with the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin which chronicles his hardship in early years and his initiation into the society to his fruitful success. Benjamin's unparalelled achievement evokes millions of young people the desire to pursue their American dream in such continent endowed with golden opportunities. These opportunities are open to not only the privileged and cultured, but more important to these underprivileged people with low social status and power. Unlike European countries, America used to be a place without established rules and wealth. Only in such soil can the American Dream be sown and nourished.
Without doubt, the pursuit of American Dream endorsed as early as in the Declaration of Independence becomes a dominant theme in the life of millions of people. However, the dream is gradually decayed as the country develops at a shocking rate. We can see the tragic version of Jay Gatsby and Martin Eden's American dream. For them, American dream is synonymous with upper-class life. Especially in the Jazz age, the post-war period in America, American dream no longer represents the pursuit of individualism, idealism, happiness but the statements of notorious money and power. Like Faust, these American pioneers try to sell their soul to devil only to find that the day the true meaning of existence reveals, their day is doomed. Martin Eden, Jay Gatsby, Willy Loman etc descend to the victimized martyres of such grand vision of American Dream.
Actually, for me, American Dream was a "has been"landscape. Now, even Obama proves another medium of American Dream, it's generally accepted that this rare success belongs to few but not to quite a few.
阁主又回来了！
虽然忍不住想审判阁主的罪行，因为爱情，放弃了曾经在这一片天空下翱翔的自由心灵。但是，谅在阁主受伤的心灵，就不再追究了，审判日择日进行。也许上帝尤对罪人尤很许多话要说。
往事也许不堪回首。
早上偶然翻起serendipity的私语阁珍藏，才发现，以前的我还是文采飞扬的。
只是在这两年这颗热衷文学的心似乎凋零了。
让上帝You触目惊心。
一篇篇日志提醒我，当时的我，真的很一意孤行，永远只朝着那个目标前进。
而这些年我干啥去了。
罪人尤谈了一场不算轰轰烈烈的恋爱，最后弄得灰头土脸，气质全无，丢盔弃甲，无功而返。
五年前的阁主充满幻想，一心憧憬着美好。
四年前的阁主在无情的现实面前也始终心怀梦想。
三年前的阁主开始在自己的文艺小世界里编制梦想。
两年前的阁主则开始偏离轨道，任由别人主宰自己的人生。
现在的阁主面对着过去的自己，羞愧得无地自容。
但是在最心碎的时候，过去的自己让我幡然醒悟。
人，最不能放弃的是自己。
否则，人生之路，没有鲜花，没有色彩，只有尘土飞扬。
阁主从今天开始决定找回当初的勇气，决定不再逃避自己，不再受制于人。
存在主义之光，请照亮我向梦想行进的路途。
Love fades...
(2010-04-30 19:53:09)
Love does fade as time goes by. I find it quite amazing when I felt so numb and calm upon his message and his virtual face online. I was once trying so hard to get rid of him in my life and thought it impossible to keep him from creating any mess or rubble in my life. But now I seemed to do it quite well. I see. The loneliness and depression would easily show up if i spend too much time alone. Upon such moment, I would easily slip back to my usual self-defeating pattern: the happy time with him would emerge and grip my heart. But just remember, it's simply because I am not used to being alone. It's not because of the fact that I still love him any more. What a bittersweet news. I come to realize that love can fade, no matter how passionate it was at the very beginning, how much heat breaking out,it's no longer an ageless fairy tale nor an immortal love. I began to distrust the permanence of love existing between two people. There is so many things else to be considered and contributed to make a relationship work and last forever:mutual trust, mutual effort, mutual communication. One-sided effort or trust would just cause the imbalance and finally devastates the giver's mind and heart without too much impact on the ungrateful receiver. That's the saddest part of a love version when one fights single handed with belief that the true love would rock the world and change the man utterly. It might be a fraction of truth in this beautiful vision, But I'm not that influential in his life and will not in my life repeat this tragic pattern again. That's what I keep telling myself. I want to be happy. That's it. Don't sell your dignity whatever happens.
Cross Over the Shadow of Sword
(2010-05-01 23:22:01)
It's May Day Holiday. Actually the roaming on campus and the reading under the tree didn't remind me of such rare golden holiday. I kept reading Elizabeth Gilbert's travelogue "Eat, Prey and Love" which apparently suits my reading taste: in a very relaxing manner, poetically written, woven with a woman writer's insight and wit and humor and eager to explore the self and the divinity of the soul.The author could easily turn some ingredients into the feast and something common into something dramatic, which also is logically relevant to her life experience. Besides, her ambition to break the pattern of convention and 'cross the shadow of sword' is admirably authentic. Such sentimental but profound insight can strike a chord with me :
On Arts and Life "In a world of disorder and disaster and fraud, sometimes only beauty can be trusted. Only artistic excellence is incorruptible. To devote yourself to the creation and enjoyment of beauty, then, can be a serious business-not always necessarily a means of escaping reality but sometimes a means of holding on to the real when everything else is flaking away into rhetoric and plot."
On Getting out of a relationship: "It's the emotional recoil that kills you, the shock of stepping off the track of a conventional lifestyle and losing all the embracing comforts that keep so many people on that track forever."
On Having Babies: It's the thing they can always lean on during a metaphysical crisis, or a moment of doubt about their relevancy--How do you mark time's passage without the fear that you've just frittered away your time on earth without being relevant?
--
Anyway, I really enjoy reading this book, which not only uplifts me from my previous frustrating relationship but also gives me a gentle nudge forward.
Thank heavens. I could finally write something in English again everyday.
A Drama Queen in Disguise?
(2010-05-02 22:55:02)
It's truly a bit tedious to express how I ought to embrace the poetic quietness of my life. After I graduate, there has been a while of emotional twirl and swirl. My whole world is full of twists and turns. On my left side was a harsh reality I failed to come to terms with, on my right side was my folliness of inventing every romantic possibility. I was caught in between. I must have known what to do to unknot the tie. But the giant coward hidden inside urges me to recoil from facing the lonely, single and unrooted life but retreat into the jungle entangled with so many tricks and gimmicks. Perhaps it's not the right way to describe my then situation. The most difficult thing in the world is not to confront the devil but to know thyself and come to terms with your self. For most of the times, we involuntarily refuse to grow up, and face the future alone. Being a female vulnerable to age and love, I too easily cling to others and feel desperately bored when sticking to a limited circle for long. Is it a sign of the restlessness and yearning for adventure and drama to my bone. Forget it, I am again taking up my habit of giving rein to my absurb fantasy. So, today, stop here. It's a fruitful day indeed, I compiled the model tests, did the jogging, thankfully, accompanied by ZS, and we have very private talk. Thanks to her company, my holiday could be a bit more colorful.
Health is the first wealth.
(2010-05-07 21:28:04)
I feel so bad. The sore throat, the headache, the aimless status, makes me wondering what I am to do next. I have no idea. One is easily succumb to pessimism once stricken with illness. I am afraid that I seem to squander my engergy and creativity and my passion away by doing something that I don't take pride in. I feel awful. I want to retreat into someplace and leave all my concerns behind. But i know It's just an escape from the reality and the duties. What shall I do? Time goes by--a merciless assassinator--strangle my pride and my talents(if I do have some)-in the darkness--I come to realize--I am not a puppet of God nor a captain of my destiny-I am a little of both. Just keep striving.
"Learnign how to discipline your speech is a way of preventing your energies from spilling out of you through the rupture of your mouth, exhausting you and filling the world with words instead of serenity, peace and bliss."
It's something I have to practice-silence!
隐约还记得去年的圣诞夜自己捧着书很虔诚地在图书馆度过了，当时看的书是《圣女贞德》，伯纳肖写的戏剧作品。当时觉得内心是坦然坚定的，现在想来是温暖的。试想着每年的平安夜都别有一番味道。
今晚很开心。因为有同居蜜友的陪伴。
本来一如既往地去上夜课，回来的时候一一和爽爽同学已经边谈笑风生边看《金大班》，俺也兴致勃勃地加盟。
然后突发奇想地去买了绝味鸭脖来啃啃，我们仨就这样坐在电脑前，边啃鸭脖边品着酸梅酒边调侃剧情边胡扯。
真好！
回到我的屋里，看到爽MM放在我电脑旁边的大苹果，下面压着一个小卡片，写着：这是我们一起住的第一个圣诞节！虽然没钱、没时间、没男人、没吃的、没玩的、但是有你们，已经足够啦！要快乐哟！
这个张大律师关键时候还是有煽情的时候！
心里不住涌起阵阵暖流。
其后，我们又蜗居在一起八卦起哄！内容就暂时保密了！这是留给我明年的考题，看到时我是否还记得2009年的平安夜我们为何如此其乐融融！呵呵！
想来自己一路总是很幸运。碰到了许多用心真心待我的好朋友！
我真的很满足！
谢谢你们！不断给我前行路上的勇气！谢谢你们始终陪伴在我身旁！我很幸福！